Well… it’s been a while.
I went through a lot these past few months. A lot of changes from my now 7:00am-to-5:30pm job, a heap of writer’s block, depression… and yet I still can’t find something to write about. But I’m going to write anyway.
This isn’t a normal wrestling editorial. But wrestling has a lot to do with why I still feel inspired to write. Let me explain.
Back in August, we all saw an amazing show from AEW’s All In at Wembley Stadium. So many great matches that we can replay over and over again and have that feeling that they’ve been trying to restore. And that feeling was monumental. From the first match to the main event, my eyes were glued to the screen, my jaw constantly dropping in awe at these athletes giving it their all in (see what I did there?) front of 50,000+ people.
When we got to the main event, Swerve Strickland vs. Bryan Danielson for the AEW World Heavyweight Championship… the tears already started flowing. Because we didn’t know if this was Bryan Danielson’s final match in All Elite Wrestling. When “The Final Countdown” started playing, the first tear started dropping.
I watched Bryan Danielson since his time in Ring of Honor. That man, let me tell you, is as humble as any man would be for a job he chose to take up on. I saw his first championship win, I saw him win World titles in WWE, I saw him do dumb challenges for the first season of NXT (thank the stars it’s a regular brand now), I saw him find the woman of his dreams in Brie Bella, I saw him become a father… Many people don’t think that I could list Bryan as one of my favorite wrestlers of all time, seeing as those same people would see me blab at the mouth about Kenny Omega or Jay White or even Bullet Club as a whole for years… but Bryan Danielson is a special place in my favorites list… because you never would hear a bad thing about him. Yes, he can say some crazy things like how tree sap is… actually I don’t think I’m allowed to say that here, but if you know, you know. However, when Bryan Danielson shed his sweat, bled, and cried in that ring as he won the AEW World Heavyweight Championship from Swerve Strickland, the tears did not stop. Bryan was still, at the time, still staying at AEW… AND he finally won a world title in the company. And yet, I made the most brutal mistake of my whole life: post a picture of me crying about Bryan’s victory on Twitter/X.
Now, I get very emotional when it comes to professional wrestling. I get so emotional, it’s like “why am I not at every show in existence to witness this beautiful sport? Why am I not working for the company I’ve stood on business since its inception?” I cry because these men, women, and non-binary athletes, put their bodies on the line just for the people who wouldn’t dare try to do what they could do. Of course, since 2020, I’ve been a rise of normal people, content creators, and then some, put their foot in the door of the wrestling industry. I even have friends since then who either took their first bump and is getting booked at shows, to even getting hired in wrestling companies. A handful of those friends work for AEW as we speak. And I cannot be more proud of them. I cry because AEW has given people a chance to shine that a lot of places wouldn’t. But me posting my normal human emotion didn’t sit well with a lot of people. In fact, I’ve gotten 10 days straight from the end of All In to the day I deleted the post of hatred, racial slurs, jokes about my face (which made my facial dysmorphia even worse as of today), and even death threats in my DMs. After the 10th day, I took a hiatus. I had an article about All In that I was going to post the day after the show… but the posts kept coming. The comments kept coming. I even had a person comment a picture of a literal turd in a toilet to me. I was getting to the point where I had to step back from wrestling as a whole, and not just AEW.
During my hiatus, I found other communities and hobbies I worked on. And to be honest, at first, I was at ease with not having anyone bother me while I moved on to other things. I had actual good people not tell me what went on during shows. I missed All Out, I missed the 5th Anniversary Show of AEW Dynamite, I missed so much within those last 3 months that I was starting to miss it.
Professional wrestling was what made me sane. Professional wrestling was the reason why I even started working for Bodyslam in the first place. And yet, it was the hatred, the noise, the malicious things people said to me that kept ringing in my head for weeks. I was going to come back sooner, but then life took a turn for the worse yet again, and I had to step back even further.
I thought I was going to resign from Bodyslam and quit professional wrestling as a whole. Who knew my hobby, which was keeping me away from depression, was starting to make my depression worse?
Then, I realized I wasn’t the only one. I thought about the wrestlers who have gotten this hate every single day, no matter what company they were in. These people who are just normal human beings like myself get worse from fans than what I went through. And really, all I needed was to get to a better place where I can start over and try watching again?
For the people who followed me on X, knew that wrestling was one of the main reasons why I want to be here. One of reasons why I even want to work for AEW, to find a career in a place that my Bachelor of Science in Animation that has been collecting dust for almost 12 years after the graduation date, the motivation of me creating art all but gone… and yet, professional wrestling inspired me to create art in a different light: in writing.
Creative writing was one of my strongest classes in college. It’s where I let my mind flow and ebb, like the waves of the Atlantic Ocean back in my home state of Maryland. It’s where I can keep my mind busy by writing my feelings about things that I loved… and what I loved was professional wrestling. It’s what made me realize in 2020, I wanted to make more friends in the community. It’s how I became friends with people who are now wrestlers, and like-minded individuals who are working in different companies as of today.
But then I knew as of this year… the hate kept coming on X. It felt… wrong to be a wrestling fan anymore. Like no matter what I post, I get 10 people telling me the opposite. I post that the sky is blue (again, choice of words here) and have 20 others tell me it’s gray or colorless.
Then the election came. Anyone who isn’t an American can note that this day is one that can change a country, let alone the world as we know it within 24 hours. I was at my job, one of the last days of being on an overnight shift, and my anxiety spiked. After midnight, it spiked to a point where I had to leave early because I was having a panic attack. I was physically sick. I took to X to see the reactions… and I saw droves of people posting screenshots of their BlueSky accounts.
I wondered why. Why are people posting links of a site that was deemed dead since 2023, a site that was invite-only and could find no one to really post much about?
…Then I realized my algorithm hid something very dire. The owner of the site (I will not name here) was supporting things that no right human should support. And even over time, the site owner made it so that hate that made me so sick that I took that 2 month hiatus, would only get worse with the new changes.
So, I posted my account that I haven’t used over a year and left that page to rot.
Enter Bluesky.
It’s been a couple of weeks now, and not only do I see people give others a clean slate, but I see nothing but… love, unity, and positive outlooks. It was like I entered into heaven after spending 14 years of fail whale purgatory. With that being said, I’m seeing myself feel better about loving what I love again. I can post an emotional post and see people support me and even feel the same way. I finally see that I could write again and actually know people will read it. I can finally love professional wrestling so much again, that I can finally start working towards my dreams again.
My real life is like X. Full of despair, hopelessness, and nothingness. Like a 60 foot hole I’m trying to climb out of. Debt, depression, destructive coping: yes, I do have that. It’s all there. But the world I want to be in, the LIFE I want to be in is where the skies are much more blue. And that’s where I want to be in real life.
So, I know it’s been a while. It’s been a while since I written. It’s been a while since I wrote about professional wrestling. It’s been a while since I felt at home.
And even though I haven’t gotten to my home yet in real life, at least in my mind, my home is where the squared circle is. And that, my fellow readers, I hope that’s where your heart is at, too.
Leave the tribalism behind for a while. This world is already starting to fall into dangerous territory. But you can change your world by changing your surroundings.
That is what I am doing. That is what I’ll keep doing. And the change started at the first word at this editorial.
2025 is around the corner and the world of professional wrestling is changing, too. Will it be for the better? Let’s hope so. And let’s hope it gets better by the day. In life, and in entertainment.
Nonetheless, it’s been a while. It’s been a while, indeed.
You can follow Melody on Bluesky: @ladyleighton.bsky.social
You can also support her on her Ko-Fi page at www.ko-fi.com/theladyleighton
