It’s a tale as old as time.
Who knew that the best thing living legend William Regal would bring to AEW (besides his experience, advice, knowledge and know-how) would be his horniness?
The answer is nobody. Nobody knew that. But it’s exactly what’s on display each and every time William Regal sits down to offer his insight next to AEW commentator, Excalibur.
It started innocently enough. Regal simply told Excalibur, the man in the mask, that he was looking ‘ravishing.’ Fair enough. We can get behind a little bit of dude love.
But then, the next week, Regal said that Excalibur was lookin “munchy munchy munchy today.”
Not quite sure what that means, but it’s fine.
The next week, he joined the AEW announce table again, and it started getting weirder.
“Oh, you little marshmallow, you,” Regal told Excalibur. “Oo, yum yum yum.”
Regal continued the next week, telling the man in the mask that he was “looking scrumptious tonight!”
“Oo, scrummy scrummy scrummy, oo oo oo” Regal added.
Speaking of scrumptious, the next week Sir William Regal told Excalibur that he was looking like ‘A fine truffle tonight.”
The next week, Regal called Excalibur a cup of pudding and then said he wanted to “smother [him] in custard.”
Next time, he called Excalibur a word we can’t pronounce or spell, but then said he wanted to gobble him up.
Then, things got really weird.
As the former WWE Intercontinental Champion sat down at the desk next to the man with the mask, he described Excalibur as “cotton candy,” and then said he wanted the man to “melt in his mouth.”
Even Taz was like, ‘The f*ck?’
During a match between former AEW Champion Adam Page and Bryan Danielson, Regal called Excalibur a “love little buttercup” and then said that he wanted to “pick up his petals and rub them all over me.”
Luckily, when it comes to workplace harassment, Regal is an eccentric Englishman and he can get away with it.
But this week, this week especially, Regal may have gone too far.
“Ooo, look at you, you Rice Krispy Treat, you,” Regal bestowed upon Excalibur. “You can snap, crackle, and pop me anytime you want, sweetheart.”
And listen, here at Bodyslam, we’re all about comparing commentary partners to delicious marshmallow-based treats. Excalibur can snap Regal if he wants to. He can even crackle the man. But we draw the line at popping people.
It’s just uncouth.
Follow Nick at @WesternRebel
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