WWE Hall of Famer Donald Trump Sucks Imaginary Dick After Giving Mic Stand a Handy
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It’s been a busy weekend so far for WWE Hall of Famer and former reality TV star Donald Trump!
The WrestleMania 23 headliner appeared in a variety of rallies and interviews this week in preparation of the 2024 Presidential election and, with those appearances, came a variety of notable quotes and, uhm, gestures…that countless media outlets have picked up.
Take, for instance, Thursday’s interview with Tucker Carlson (who recently claimed, himself, that he was attacked by a sleep paralysis demon so, ya know, lots of credibility). No, Tucker, you weren’t attacked by a demon. You were just interviewing Donald Trump.
During the aforementioned interview, Donald Trump spent about 13 hours talking about his various enemies and why they have forsaken him so. One of Trump’s biggest enemies is Wyoming’s former congresswoman, and noted Republican, Liz Cheney. Cheney has found herself in Trump’s cross hairs (kind of literally, now) over the last two years because she, like (we’d like to think) most of the country, thinks that trying to incite an insurrection in order to prevent the elected president from taking office is, ya know, not good. Some might even call it bad.
Not Trump though. And that’s why he and Cheney have found themselves at a crossroads. Trump’s hatred of Cheney and hers of him have dominated news stories for the last three years and it was Trump’s wrath that ultimately led to her losing her position in the House of Representatives to the Trump-endorsed Harriet Hageman. Hageman, unlike Cheney, doesn’t think the Capitol Riot was a deal breaker.
Cheney has become one of Trump’s favorite punching bags, though she’s not afraid to punch back.
On Thursday, however, Trump upped the ante from a fistfight to a gunfight, apparently.
According to The New York Times, during Trump’s interview with Carlson, he assailed Liz Cheney and said that she should be put on a battlefield “with nine barrels shooting at her.”
Trump’s defenders will inevitably say that he was speaking in metaphor, but the actual, literal quote, verbatim was this:
She’s a radical war hawk, Let’s put her with a rifle standing there with nine barrels shooting at her, OK? Let’s see how she feels about it. You know. When the guns are trained on her face.
So, yeah. Not a metaphor.
Cheney, perhaps one of, if not the most notable Republican to disavow Trump and endorse current Vice President Kamala Harris, responded on Friday morning.
In a Tweet, Cheney wrote that “This is how dictators destroy free nations. They threaten those who speak against them with death. We cannot entrust our country and our freedom to a petty, vindictive, cruel, unstable man who wants to be a tyrant.”
Kamala Harris commented on the matter as well, stating that Trump had “increased his violent rhetoric” and “in great detail suggested rifles should be trained on former Representative Liz Cheney. This must be disqualifying. Anyone who wants to be president of the United States who uses that kind of violent rhetoric is clearly disqualified, and unqualified, to be president.”
Probably, he still won’t be disqualified, much to the chagrin of Harris and Cheney.
Of course, that’s not the only thing Trump said/did over these last couple days that has gotten people talking (even more than they already do) about whether Trump is actually even cognitively qualified to be the President of the United States.
While appearing in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Trump covered a lot of topics, which means he told a lot of lies. One of those lies was that he claimed he “won” Wisconsin in the 2020 election against Joe Biden.
He did not.
Trump also adorned himself with a sanitation workers vest, illustrating the point that he and his followers have, for some reason, latched onto – that idea being that they’re all garbage. Literally. That’s his point. He’s dressing like a garbage man, because he says he and his followers are garbage. He even drove a garbage truck that had his logo on it. Because he is garbage (his words, not mine).
Trump also spent close to five minutes having a one-sided feud with a microphone. After his followers complained that they couldn’t hear him, Trump took the microphone from its stand and held it while he spoke.
Eventually, his arm got tired, so he started complaining more, saying that he “[doesn’t] ask for much. The only thing I ask for is a good mic.” That actually might be the only thing he asks for. He certainly doesn’t ask for permission before grabbing women.
Trump said that if he were the president (seemingly finally conceding defeat in the 2020 election), he’d fire former Chief of Staff John Kelly. Viewers were unsure of what that had to do with the sound level of a microphone.
He complained more, calling the act of holding a microphone a workout, and said that it would help his muscles…or lack thereof.
Finally, bizarrely, Trump seemingly “went off-script” and made a series of gestures and pantomimes that definitely seemed to put the “dick” in dictator.
The WWE Hall of Famer, WrestleMania 23 headliner, former “owner” of Raw and the former President of the United States and current Republican nominee for the 2024 Presidential election, proceeded to jack off a microphone stand, before pantomiming sucking it like, presumably, a dick.
Of course, just moments after, Twitter (X) erupted and people far more creative than us got to work creating masterpieces like this:
Some said that he was just practicing for prison.
Others came to the defense of Vince McMahon’s storyline-nemesis (but real life bestie). They took it upon themselves to provide the whole context of the phantom blowjob/handy. But, like, it didn’t really make it any better.
So anyway. Weird week for Donald Trump (and his followers…who call themselves garbage. Literally). We’re in the endgame of the 2024 Presidential election now and Trump’s followers have to be praying that, in the final hours, he doesn’t blow it…
Follow Nick on Twitter/X at @WesternRebel
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